Pick You Up
by Ciara in cotton socks
Summary: with the death of someone close to him, Flack goes to pieces. It's up to an old friend to help him through it, but will he let her?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**** --- The End**

**A/N: Hey everyone, this is my first CSI: NY fanfic, so please be nice! If you have ideas don't hesitate to tell me, and if you have anything to say please REVIEW!!!**

**This story is especially for my CSI: NY buds, Emma and Hazel! Luv ye girlies!**

**Ciara**

**x x x**

Don sat on the cold plastic chair, thinking to himself.

To his left, agitated parents were fussing over a kid with a broken arm. Nearby, a nurse was asking an elderly woman questions, filling in forms with a blotchy blue biro. People were rushing through the small waiting room, calling names and directions. The room was filled with sobbing and screaming and a dozen separate conversations which were mingling into one garbled stream of noise.

Don didn't notice any of it.

A nurse came to ask him if he wanted some coffee. He knew he looked up at the sound of her voice, but he didn't know if she was black or Caucasian, if she was dark or fair-haired. Not one aspect of her appearance registered with him. He couldn't tell whether he said yes or no, or if he even acknowledged her, but he figured he must have said no because when she walked away she didn't come back.

Time was irrelevant now; he could have been sitting there for minutes or hours or even days, he had no idea. All that he knew now was the painful feeling of uselessness that was smothering him, and the tingling sensation in the tips of his fingers which could be the first sign of fear. How strange. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been properly afraid. Any fear he'd ever felt was like a drop in the ocean compared to this cold tidal wave of dread.

"Flack!"

This time he recognised the voice. Lindsay was striding towards him, hair flying and tears running down her cheeks in jagged meandering rivers. Mac and Stella were close behind her, and Danny followed soon after. All of their faces were concerned, anxious.

Lindsay was putting her arms around him. Danny sat down heavily to his right. Mac and Stella were a couple of metres away, talking to a nurse. It could have been the one from before, or a completely different one. Both of them looked strained, and tears were glossing over Stella's eyes.

"If I hear anything, you'll be the first to know," the nurse was promising.

"Thank you," said Mac calmly.

And then the waiting continued. It was somehow worse with them all there. Talking in falsely positive voices and squeezing his shoulder sympathetically and asking if he needed anything as though it would somehow make things better. Their voices were letting in the terrible thoughts he'd been trying so hard to block out. He shuddered in spite of himself.

"Detectives."

He looked up at the sound of the nurses soft tone and her face said it all. Lindsay gave a squeal and buried her face in Danny's chest. Mac sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Stella murmured her thanks to the nurse, and said they would like to see the doctor. Then she crouched in front of Don's face and put her hands on his knees.

"OK sweetie, let's get you out of these clothes."

Don rubbed his fingers on his shirt and stared in amazement as they came away wet with blood. He couldn't remember anything anymore. He had no idea how he had gotten here, or why the rest of the team was watching him so carefully. All he knew now was her face.

"What happened? Why is there blood on my shirt? Where is she? Whose blood is it Stella?" He was dazed, uncertain. "Stella, what's going on?"

"Hey now, don't' panic," she soothed, running her fingers through his hair. "Let's just get you cleaned up, alright?"

"I-I need to see her first Stella."

"Are you sure? You don't look up to it Don. Maybe you should sit down for a minute, get your bearings."

"I want to see Jessica."

**So there it is, the first chapter! I know it's really short, but they will get longer, this is a kind of a snapshot to get things going.**

**If you've got ideas or suggestions or comments of some description, here's an idea: you see that little button just under here? PRESS IT!!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two --- Losing You**

**A/N: Here's chapter two! Thanks to everyone who reads, and more importantly who REVIEWS!!! I hope everyone likes it, but I wont know if you don't tell me (hint hint)!!!**

**This chapter is a flashback, in case you don't get that (I can be bad at explaining things…)**

**Love as always,**

**Ciara**

**x x x**

"_Jess? I'm a couple of blocks away, hold tight OK?"_

"_Got it. If you hurry, I'll buy dinner tonight."_

"_I'm counting on it, I'm broke. See you soon gorgeous."_

_Don clicked off his cell phone and drove along behind an irritatingly slow middle-aged man in a small, rusted old contraption. He honked the horn pointedly and shot the driver a sarcastic smile while tapping his watch._

"_C'mon, c'mon," he muttered impatiently, tapping his fingers against the dash. "Come on!"_

_His cell started ringing again, an angry, tinny beeping which reflected his irritation._

"_Flack here, what's up?"_

"_Don, where are you?" Jessica Angell's voice sounded strained._

"_I'm on my way, the traffic's crazy. Is everything alright?"_

"_Yeah- yeah it's fine, I guess."_

"_What aren't you saying Jess?"_

"_I-I think- never mind, it's not important."_

"Jess_."_

"_I-I dunno. I get the feeling that I- that somebody's watching me."_

"_Get out of there Jess. I'll be right there, just get safe."_

"_No! I've got to do this, Don. I'll never forgive myself if I don't."_

"_Jess? Jess!"_

_But she was gone. Don swore profusely and switched on his siren. He sped up, overtaking dangerously and ignoring the honking horns and yells of dissatisfaction. All that concerned him was getting to Jess and making her safe. Maybe he was overreacting, but the girl was stubborn, more so than even he was, and she didn't know when to quit. Taking a gamble was one thing, risking your life was another._

_The car had barely skidded to a stop when he was jumping out, drawing his gun and calling Jess._

"_Where are you? Why aren't you picking up? Jess?" He tried countless times, but to no avail._

_And then he heard the gunshot._

_People were running and screaming in every direction, crying and yelling for help. There was no second shot. For a moment he thought everything was alright._

_And then he saw Jess's car. The driver's door was wide open._

"_Jess? Jessica? Angell!" he yelled, running and calling for backup simultaneously. "Jess, answer me, dammit!"_

_It happened in a split second. One moment he was sprinting full tilt. The next he had stopped in his tracks. He fell to his knees and grasped the hand curling out from behind the door. Her hand._

"_Jess?" he whispered again. "Jess, stop screwing me around. Answer me. Please."_

_Silence._

"_Jessica." His voice was even smaller now._

_He scrambled around the door, clutching at her. She was as beautiful as ever, her dark hair sprawled across the pavement, her expression somewhat peaceful. It looked like she was sleeping. Don tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and saw that her earpiece was still nestled there. Then he saw the dark stain spreading out across her chest._

_When the medics arrived they found a handsome dark-haired man soaked in blood, holding the body of an attractive young woman and stroking her hair. Her head was in his lap and he was talking softly to her, even though she was clearly past hearing._

"_Wake up Jess," he moaned, rocking gently as though trying to wake a child from slumber. "I came as quickly as I could, so you owe me dinner, remember? You promised. If you wake up, you can choose the restaurant, I promise. I'll even eat Mexican if you want. Just wake up. I don't even want the meal anymore. I just want you to be OK. You have to be OK, Jess. I _need_ you to be OK."_

_But she wasn't._

**So now we know what they're all doing in the hospital…….**

**What do you all think? Please read and review, I need the confidence-boost to keep me writing!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three --- Under Better Circumstances**

**A/N:Hi again everybody, hope you've been liking the story so far!!!**** Here's a longer chapter, finally. Thanks to my great friend, Emzer92, who reviewed and gave me loads of good feedback today in school! But special thanks to the brilliant csiwendy07: not only did she review, but she's been really sweet, offering to help out with the whole stuck-in-the-middle (no pun intended) thing! Thank you sooooo much, and I mean that sincerely. See, if the rest of you would just review, you'd get a little mention too…**

**Also, I've been asked by Shabbs the Corruptor to remind everybody who reads this about the CSI:NY Fan Fiction Awards 2009. Please start making nominations for your favourites, and for more information you should check out the forums…..**

**Love as always,**

**Ciara**

**x x x**

Time passed as though in a dream.

Don felt as though he was watching events from outside himself. Stella got him some clean clothes while Mac talked to the doctor in a hushed, tense tone. Danny went to call the guys in the lab and then to break the news to Angell's parents. His normally tough bravado was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a haggard, resigned expression of pain. Lindsay sat with Don the entire time, rubbing his arm and speaking in the sort of soft tones people use around sleeping babies or the terminally ill. She was saying all sorts of things which were evidently intended to comfort him, but his brain didn't seem to be working properly and they were failing miserably.

"I need to see her," he repeated over and over again, as though saying it would somehow make the doctors ignore protocol and let him in, even though her parents were miles away, stuck in the same frustrating New York traffic which had prevented him from doing what he had told himself he would do: make her safe. "I need to see Jess."

"I know," Lindsay murmured, her voice all stuffy and adenoidal. "But you know they have to let her parents see her first. It's only right. They'll be here soon, I promise." Her youthful features were distraught as she gazed in dismay at his stricken face.

"And then I can see her?"

"We'll see," she hedged, her lips pressing together nervously. Don knew she was worried about him, which was ridiculous really because he was alive, talking to her, unscathed when Jess was… not. He forced himself not to think the word which would make him wake up from this dreamlike sensation and realise that everything was truly, irreversibly real. He could still feel the patch of skin where she had last touched his cheek burning red-hot.

"Can I see her when they're done?" he insisted resolutely.

Lindsay sniffed and said again, "We'll see."

"Detective Angell's parents are in with her now," Mac murmured to the others. "They've identified her formally and done all the necessary paperwork. Now they're just spending some time with her, coming to terms with everything that's happened."

"I just can't believe it," said Stella shakily, clasping Mac's hand for comfort. "What happened? What was she doing? One minute she was on her way to join me at the crime scene, then she's calling to tell me she's been sidetracked and is running late. Next thing I know the call is going out that she's down. What the hell is going on here?"

"I think Don knows something, but he won't talk about it. Or- or he can't." Lindsay had her arms around Danny as she glanced sadly at their friend, sitting in his chair, oblivious to anything around him, a shadow of his former self. "I had the invitations to the christening in my bag," she said tonelessly. "I don't even want to think about it now."

"Don't worry Montana, we can postpone. I think it might be better for everyone, under the circumstances."

"I-It's not just that Danny. I'm really, really worried about him."

"He's grieving, Montana. It's normal."

Lindsay nodded tearfully and Danny ruffled her hair affectionately. "I should go call the sitter," he murmured. "Tell her we'll be late. We should be here for Flack. You want a coffee?"

"Y-yes please, my usual." She squeezed his hand gratefully.

"Got it. Mac, Stella?"

"I'm good thanks, Danny," said Stella.

"Me too."

Danny strode over and put his hand on Don's shoulder, more gently than he normally would. "You want anything buddy?"

Don didn't even notice him standing there. Danny smiled sadly and walked away towards the tiny hospital café. Despite his reassurances to Lindsay, a prickle of unease stabbed at his conscience, and he prayed silently that his friend would get through this.

"Mr Angell, I'm Danny Messer, we spoke on the phone."

"I-I remember." The man's voice was shaking.

"I'm so sorry for your loss. Our loss. Jessica was part of the team."

Don looked up at the mention of her name to see a balding, middle-aged man pumping Danny's hand. His face was glazed with tears and heavy lines ploughed furrows across his brow. Behind him stood a woman who could only be Jessica's mother. She looked just like her daughter. Her face was dry; her grief was beyond tears.

"Jessie talked about you all the time," she whispered, looking around at them all. "Detective Taylor, Detective Bonaserra." She looked at Danny and Lindsay, curled into each other, united in sorrow. "She was so happy for you two. The M&Ms, she used to call you."

Lindsay smiled a watery half-smile. "I-I didn't know that."

"Detective Flack." Mrs Angell tripped dazedly to his side. "You made our little girl so very happy. I'm only sorry we couldn't have met under better circumstances."

Don blinked furiously up at her. All he could see was Jess.

"Mr and Mrs Angell," said Mac solemnly. "Your daughter was a very talented, valuable member of the police force. She was a credit to you, and I am honoured to have known her."

"T-the doctor said she died in the field," Jess's father stammered. "Is that true?"

"Yes. She died trying to make New York a safer place for people to live."

"That's something."

"It is?" asked Stella.

"That job was everything to Jessie. If she had to go, that's how she would have wanted it to be. Knowing that she died for the sake of others doesn't make it hurt any less, but it makes me even- even more- I'm sorry- even more pr-proud!" Mr Angell sobbed. His wife put her thin arms around him, her own eyes shimmering with suppressed emotions that would eventually spill over despite her best efforts to stay calm.

"Detective Flack? Detective Flack, you can go see Jessie now. To-to say goodbye. The doctor said you wanted to."

"You sure you're up to this?" Danny asked, kneeling in front of Don.

"I need to see her. I need to."

"Alright buddy. We'll be right here. If it gets too much for you, you come right back here to us, OK?"

Don didn't even acknowledge him, just got to his feet and walked away.

"You see terrible things in your line of work every day," Mrs Angell whispered to Danny. "Why should this be any harder?"

"Because it's not the same. Not when it's someone you know, who you care about. Not when they're one of your own, because you never figure that one of the team will go down, you always think you'll be there to make it better if anything goes wrong. It's harder because you can't anticipate what it does to you. Trust me, I know better than most."

**So that's it for another chapter! Ideas? Suggestions? Comments? You know what to do. Push that little button down there, you know you want to……**

**And don't forget to get nominating for the awards…….**


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